Now that Stop the Hurt is expanding to sexual assault/rape as well as dating abuse, I feel the need to go back to the basics for anyone who is not trained or educated in this subject. Also, April is SAAM (Sexual Assault Awareness Month)!
Typically, the difference between sexual assault and rape has to do with touching or penetration, respectively. Sexual assault can be defined as any sexual act that is used to threaten, coerce, or force a person to engage in an act against their will or without consent. Consent is absolutely necessary in order to have sex, or engage in any sexual activity.
So, what is consent? (Green light = Go!)
Consent is a willing and sober agreement to participate in specific sexual acts.
No means no, but it also means not acting until there is a willing yes.
The yes given must be out of excitement and THEIR choice, not submission, obligation, coercion, or manipulation.
If you are unsure, clearly communicate with the person.
Clearly express your comfort level and how far you will go at each escalation.
What is NOT consent? (Red Light = Stop!)
Consent is NOT silence, or submission.
Consent can be withdrawn at ANY TIME.
You cannot give consent legally if you are drunk or intoxicated.
Consent is NOT assumed, even if you have done something with this person before.
Consent is NOT not fighting off or resisting; victims of rape have identified with the feeling of paralysis or immobility when the assault occurred.
An important fact about sexual assault or rape is that everyone experiences, and copes with it differently. For most of you reading this if you haven't experienced this, it is easy to say, "Well I'd push them off" or "I'd fight back". In fact, 70% of women who are raped physically struggle at first but are overpowered either physically or psychologically. Some ways this can happen is through denial, or what's called Frozen Fright, which is when the person freezes or tenses up and is unable to move due to the shock of what is happening, or to protect themselves. It is also important to think about the correlation between alcohol and sexual assaults. Over 90% of the time, alcohol is present in a sexual assault whether it is by the attacker or the victim.
The most important fact about sexual assault and rape is that it is not merely about sex; it is about power and control (much like an abusive relationship). 99% of the perpetrators of rape are men. However, most men are great men and do not commit sexual assault or rape, but the men that do are often serial rapists. In fact, only 8% of men commit rape. However, this 8% are 95% more likely to commit the act again.
87% of sexual assault victims knew their attacker!
So, it is not usually the stereotypical "rape van" we must be wary of. Rather, we must be wary of the people we go on dates with, our classmates, our coworkers, friends, etc.
1 in 4 women is sexually assaulted or raped in her lifetime.
This is a similar statistic to dating abuse, and it is far too large a number. Every 2 minutes, a woman is sexually assaulted. And despite these large numbers of assaults, less than half of the crimes of sexual violence are actually reported to the police. This is due to a number of reasons I will go over in another post.
Here are some more facts about sexual assault and rape: http://www.oneinfourusa.org/statistics.php and http://www.rainn.org/statistics
I hope this post informed you on the basics of sexual assault! Please remember April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month! Do your part and stop the hurt!
Cara Mackler
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