This year's focus was on parents having conversations with their teens about healthy and unhealthy relationships. I'm not a parent yet, but I can definitely relate to the difficulty of talking about relationships between parents and teens. Break the Cycle has tools and resources online for tips on how to look out for warning signs and how to start a conversation about dating abuse. Visit http://www.teendvmonth.org/ for the toolkit and much more.
What I gathered from advice on how to start conversations from adults and parents themselves at ITTTD is:
- engage in some activities that they are involved in to help relate to them, and let them relate to you relating to them
- watch television programs with them that they enjoy and ask about the relationships between characters & if they think they are healthy or unhealthy
- ask them who their favorite celebrities are & then ask them what they like about them (their personality, how they treat others, etc.)
- ask them which relationships they see in their own lives that are healthy or unhealthy (like mom & dad's, grandma and grandpa's, their friends' parents, their friends)
- try not to make it a lecture all the time; try to just listen to what they have to say and they will be more open to talking to you
It's hard when you're the type of person who generally does not seek out help for anything, but it is especially crucial to receive help from your parents at a time when you feel so helpless. When I was a teenager I thought I knew everything and could handle any situation on my own. In some ways I still do, but that's besides the point. So even though I was miserable, I would never ask for help. I love my parents and we have a very open relationship, but we never had a conversation about what an unhealthy relationship looks like.
I truly believe education is key in prevention, however, I do also believe that intervention is equally important. It is no one's fault if they end up in an abusive relationship, and education can help victims notice warning signs on their own. However, intervention from family or friends may just be that extra help the victim needs to actually leave the relationship.
So, parents, your child is just as much at risk than any other child of ending up in an abusive relationship (I'm sorry to scare you, but we have to stop pretending it doesn't happen to people we know and love), but there are SO many preventative steps you can take to help them either notice the warning signs before they enter the relationship, or help them walk away. So take those steps that can save your child or your child's friend's life. A ten minute conversation could make the difference. Don't make excuses; have the conversation.
Do your part and stop the hurt.
