We Are So Desensitized

Hi Everyone! Today's post is entitled "We Are So Desensitized" which leads to question: to what? If you guessed domestic abuse, you'd be correct! Considering this is a blog about domestic abuse, that was kind of easy. What I'm going to talk about in this post are some movies and videos in television and the media in general that glorify abuse, belittle abuse, or truly raise awareness about this awful subject.

When talking about how the media may belittle abuse, there are many ways in which they can do this. First  off, the media will cover abuse when it happens to a well-known celebrity like Rihanna. But our society somehow finds ways to excuse Chris Brown merely because he's a talented artist. Or Kobe Bryant. Or Jerry Sandusky. All of these celebrities did horrible things to innocent people, yet they are excused and forgiven by society due to their statuses. If Joe Paterno is being "let go" from Penn State due to his ignorance of the heinous acts his colleague Jerry Sandusky committed, then shouldn't Kobe Bryant be "let go" as well? Does the face of NBA really care that much more about its reputation and successes rather than a permanently tortured life because of this man?

In television we see abuse probably more than we do in real life. Well, hopefully. There are many movies and television series that show domestic abuse in all its forms, and yet we become so desensitized to these acts that they seem normal to us. Here is a list of some movies that have domestic violence in them: The Burning Bed (1984), Boys on The Side (1995), Enough (2002), Sleeping With the Enemy (1991), This Boy's Life (1993), What's Love Got To Do With It? (1993), Bully (2001), Boys Don't Cry (1999).

The movie I want to talk about in this post is The Burning Bed. Farrah Faucet plays a young woman who is abused her by husband and trapped in their marriage even after many attempts to get away. It is based in the early 60's. Francine, Farrah Faucet's character, falls quick for the charming Mickey who convinces her to marry him too soon for her liking; he convinced her by taking her virginity. This was just the start of his control over Francine's life. The cycle of violence appears in the movie in many instances: he buys her a nice scarf, gets jealous for no reason, hits her in front of his friends, then apologizes and it starts all over again. Since this movie was based in the 60's, the mentality was much different than it is now pertaining to domestic violence. There were multiple instances where the police witnessed Mickey attacking Francine, but did nothing. When Francine went for help numerous times, they simply turned their cheek trying to hand her over to other authorities who also did nothing. This left Francine feeling absolutely terrified for her life since Mickey was threatening to kill her, and absolutely hopeless since there seemed to be no way out: so she killed him. This movie is an excellent example of abuse, but the one thing it does not show is a successful, safe way out. There are ways to get help!

In the movies and news we view all the time, it seems as though the only way out of these horrible situations is someone dying. Look at the recent case in New York: NY Times- Barbara Sheehan
This woman was abused for years and hopelessly, in self defense, found her escape. The prosecutors' only defense was that her abuser was killed and she survived, so he was the "only victim" (coughbullshitcough); but what about all of the victims who's abusers are still very much alive? How do they find a way out without murdering their partners? There are ways! There are hundreds of resources in every state, and there are many laws protecting victims of abuse (and this is thankfully increasing). What we need more of are the bloggers and journalists truly seeking to raise awareness about this issue- they do exist! It is time we stop being silent and hidden about this issue; let our voices be heard. We will not tolerate this abuse in our society! We need to see more publicity regarding awareness, not just glorifying abuse or belittling it. We need to see more articles from people who understand domestic violence, not just reporters who solely want a story to write about. We need to see more literature from people who care about stopping this abuse.

If our media starts raising more awareness in realistic and relative terms, we can use our knowledge to fight this abuse. The stories that truly should shine are the survivor's stories! It doesn't always end in death. Find out your local resources and utilize them. If you or someone you know is being abused, don't let them lose hope; they can safely leave their relationship. For tips, visit www.loveisnotabuse.com or www.loveisrespect.org, or www.safehorizon.org, or any other site you can stumble upon! Abusive relationships do not always have to end with someone dying, whether that be the victim or the abuser. Develop a safety plan. If you know someone in an abusive relationship, don't wait until it's too late and their name is the next headline in the newspaper. Do your part and stop the hurt.

If I don't post again until next week, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! See my post from last week about how to give thanks in your community! Thank you!