Family Violence

Hello Everyone! I apologize for not posting for a while, but the life of a college student is always busy! I'm making time now in between classes to post about family violence. I have been posting about relationship violence because that is what I personally research the most and know the most about. However, it is important to recognize that domestic violence occurs in families, too.

Domestic violence in families occurs in a matter of ways:
- parent to child
- parent to grandparent
- child to grandparent

For this post I am going to talk about the inhumane crime of child abuse. Discretion advised: this post is a very difficult topic to discuss, so if you need to talk to someone please note the phone number at the bottom of the post.

Child abuse can be physical, emotional, neglectful, or sexual abuse. About 90% of the time, child abuse is done by someone the child knows; this could be a family member, other relatives, friends of parents, a teacher or other adult the child has come in contact with. According to a 2009 study done by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, nearly 90% of the recorded perpetrators were parents of the victims.

In child sexual abuse, there is something that's called "grooming" that occurs. Grooming is when the abuser "readies" their victim; they test boundaries with touching, buy the child gifts, create a bond with the child, and basically manipulate the child into trusting this adult. Once the adult has groomed the child "enough", they break that trust by hurting them. The child is vulnerable, and the adult enforces their power by threatening the child not to tell anyone. They use their power as an adult to control the child; they manipulate the child more by buying them gifts or doing nice things for them to "make up" for the abuse. This becomes a cycle, almost like in dating abuse, and the child has no other choice but to believe their abuser. It is completely unfair to take control of a child's mind like that, and the abuser knows that their authority overrules the child's fear and confusion.

This same authority exists in all kinds of abuse including emotional and physical. Parents or other adult figures in a child's life make the child believe that they know what's best, and that the child must listen and respect adults. In theory it is true we must respect our elders, but our elders can be wrong sometimes. In this case, they are absolutely 200% wrong. Child abuse is never okay. Just like in dating abuse, abusers of children use tactics to maintain power. They demean and punish the child, and in a lot of cases neglect the child. This could be by physical spanking, slapping, or other means of hitting. Or this could be by withholding food, or not letting them shower. The child feels absolutely helpless because all they have been taught is to listen to their elders, so they feel they must obey. They become numb to the abuse and eventually the abuse is all they know.

Child abuse happens so often, and 9/10 times the child does not report it. There are many horrible 'side effects' to the abuse as well; kids who are abused are 25% more likely to experience teen pregnancy, for example. They are also more likely to become drug users and become more susceptible to STD's and other diseases because of the lack of practice of safe sex. Children often develop PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or depression, and sometimes even sleep or eating disorders as they get older. They are more likely to develop psychological disorders, and sadly enough they are more likely to become abusers themselves when they are older. There are so many awful repercussions.

It is important to note that these repercussions may not happen at all to a child who was abused. Just because it is more likely does not mean it absolutely happens to every child. So, don't assume that if a child is abused that they will definitely become an abuser as an adult.

I know this was a very difficult post to read because it was a very difficult post to write. If you need help, please call: 1-800-4-A-CHILD which is the national hotline for child abuse.

For more information, visit: http://www.childhelp.org/pages/statistics#abuse-conseq or http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/NCANationalStatistics. These websites are where I got my statistics from for this blog.
Here is a youtube video about a young girl who died from her abusive father entitled 'Alissa Lies': http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VlE2J9Yj7U4&feature=fvst

Child abuse is 100% preventable, and we need to step up and do our part to stop it. If you know of someone who is abusing a child, please do something. That child is helpless and alone; lead them out of the darkness and help them regain hope. Do your part and stop the hurt.