My first class back from Thanksgiving break (I hope you all had a great one!) is my Marriage and Families class. We talked about IPV (Intimate Partner Violence, aka Domestic Violence/Domestic Abuse) briefly and rather than defining it we just watched a short video about three girls who were in abusive relationships and then discussed barriers to leaving. The entire time I was shaking. I don't know why it overwhelms me sometimes when I'm so used to reading about it and talking about it and researching it practically every day. But sometimes it just gets to me.
I sat silent in class (for anyone who knows me, this NEVER happens) and fiddled with my pen. I knew every answer to every question and had more to contribute than was even running through my own head, but sat there silently instead. I became anxious and wanted to leave the room.
Then it dawned on me.
I picked up my head and listened to all of my classmates sharing their personal experiences of family members who had been in abusive relationships. They all shared their stories about their cousins, aunts, friends, mothers. I almost teared up. Statistics are just numbers, but stories are real; they give faces and feelings and meaning. I often wonder when I'm sitting in a lecture, or walking around campus, how many past victims I just walked by. Or how many people who know victims just walked by. Or how many people in this entire campus are affected directly or indirectly by domestic abuse. This feeling gives me the same feeling as wondering when the sky ends: helplessness. How can I help all of these people? How can we ever make this go away? Can we ever end domestic abuse and STOP all of these people from hurting?
I have to regain my mental composure and breathe. There are awful things, and awful people, in this world that may never completely go away. Racism still exists. Murder still exists. Hate still exists. We cannot create a perfect world, but we can work to make it a better place. Maybe we won't end abuse forever. If I did, I think some kind of world-class medal would be in order. Maybe the hate will never stop, but one of my favorite MLK Jr. quotes is:
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."
So sometimes it's okay to feel angry and helpless and pissed off at all the horrible things in this world. But we cannot work to end hate by feeling hatred. We have to channel our anger into faith. Into compassion. Into courage.If we all focus on the good in life, we can work to eliminate some of the bad. I know I will get frustrated sometimes and feel overwhelmed with emotion; not only is this expected with this line of work, but it's human. But I also know that I can channel that frustration into helping others live in a better place. We can work together to bring out the light in the darkness, and most importantly love to drive out the hate. I am not a religious person by any means, but this prayer seems to sum it up:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference."
So, maybe for me I don't need a god to show me that, but it's all the same in the end. We have to accept that abuse may never end completely, but we must gain the strength and courage to never give up trying.
I hope this post inspires you, or affects you in any way. I know there are no facts or articles, but sometime's a girl's just gotta vent. Regardless, I have a few informative and powerful posts in store for you. I hope you enjoyed this one for the time being! And again, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! And thank you all for reading my posts; I couldn't be more grateful.
I know Mondays are tough, but take today on! Grab it by the horns and power through. Just a couple more weeks until finals and break for me. Have a good week! And never forget: do your part and stop the hurt.
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